“I’m Not Good Enough “
That’s my thought when I’ve messed up somehow. Because if I was, I wouldn’t do that would I? I know I’m not perfect, but I have to be. If I’m not, then that person will leave, or will not love me anymore. I would have everything done at home, and I would have more money by now. I would have children, and finished school like everyone else. I wouldn’t be a burden to everyone else.
Yes, those are the general thoughts I have behind the thought of not being good enough. But I’m not alone. Every single person who confides in me one way or another has spoken to something having to do with this statement: “I’m not good enough.” It is unfortunately a shared experience we as humans have in some way or another. It’s why we compare ourselves. There’s something inside of all of us we compare to others even when we don’t realize it. And there’s something inside all of us we’d like to change. Maybe yours is that you are not at a specific weight. Possibly you see someone buying a house but you can only afford an apartment. Perhaps you haven’t found a good steady relationship and feel broken.
I started asking other people along with myself what would be enough? The answer? They don’t know; truthfully neither do I. But it started changing the way I think about it and talk about it with others. My response has moved to me reminding them and myself that if you never have a target to begin with, you will always miss. If you do not know what is “good enough” for you, then you will never be enough. At some point you have to decide that what you do is enough, or continue to feel like you’re failing. But when you can choose to change your thoughts about it, you will see things in a new light.
I think the real answer is you have to be enough for you. No one else can tell you if you are enough or not. You get to decide that for yourself. When you do, that dissatisfaction in life starts to turn to contentment. It will change your whole outlook on life and allow you to become more emotionally and mentally positive and stable.
Your friendly neighborhood coach
Jamie